Create + Write + Inspire
Drink Offering
by Jennifer Kelly on September 8th, 2014

When I take the time to write out my words. 

(Words in black and white) 
(Words etched and drawn) 
(Words that tie together) 

They somehow, always, change me.

It's undeniable that God has been/and is doing some really amazing things in my life. If I think back to where I was even two years ago, I am AMAZED. That broken-down-girl in times past, seems so far away now.

Remebered only in a memory.

When I look back on my journey, and come across the times of healing, renewal, and  flourishing... I am more than awe-struck.
And yet, I can't say it's been easy. Each time I have felt God ask something of me, whether painful or embarrising or surprising, I have always relented at first.

Kind of like a mule.
Actually more like a stubborn, old mule.

When you grow up a certain way, you tend to cling tightly to things. Sometimes those things are healthy, sometimes they are not. But I guess that's the thing.

To actually believe.
To have faith in Jesus,
is to offer up those things to Him.


And as for all the changes that I have given, abandoned, surrendered, or poured out at His feet.  Not once, have I ever been dissapointed. 

Jesus has always been more than long-suffering with me, beckoning me, loving me, and pursuing me.
Yes, He seems to be asking quite a lot lately. More like an all-or-nothing kind of deal. Asking to see if I'm really willing to loose a life - to gain one.

I was talking with my best friend last night.  It was one of those conversations that you can only have with a best friend. Painful, honest, hard, and no-fun-at-all. She likes to ask the tough questions (and it's one of the reasons why I love her so much). She's one of the very few people that I allow to hold me accountable - probably because she's earned the right.  She's one of those people who really care. She's a truth-teller and a peace-maker.

So, I don't know why this is so hard.
I don't know why I feel as if I'm letting my family down.
I don't know why it's easier to give up some things while other's seem more simple.

But, I know if I write it out in black and white, etched and drawn, and then tie them all together, they will make more sense to me.  I'll have the ability to resolve, the comfort in seeking forgiveness, and the capablilty to pour out an offering.

It's another piece that I need to lay down. To say goodbye. To heal the wounds that have been caused and to allow Jesus that sacred space to heal. No more numbing, no more escaping, no more...

Ephesians 5:15-20 says, "So be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ".

In Annie Down's new book "Let's All Be Brave" she writes, "If we want to see God glorified all over the world, we need to be brave enough to see courage in all its different forms. And we need to do the thing. I can't see into your life to tell you what that thing is today - but I know enough to understand that the brave decisions you make at fifteen affect the brave choices you make at twenty-five - and they are different from the brave moments you face at thirty-five and fifty-five"

And OH, she's so right.  Bravery does beget bravery AND everyone does have a thing they need to do to be brave. Mine looks different than yours and yours looks different than mine. And that's the beauty of it all.

So, I'm being brave and I'm going to do what God has placed on my heart.
No more wine.
Not one drop.

I don't know if I'm giving it up forever and ever, I just know it's what I need to do to be brave today. It'll be weird, and probably uncomfortable, but I know deep down inside it's exactly what I need to do.

And if He asks for more tomorrow, I'm going to give it.
I'll move, I'll write, I'll give, I'll submit.
I might need my friends again, to call and help and push, but I promise, I'll try and be brave.
And I hope that you'll try too.


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4 Comments

Marie - September 8th, 2014 at 11:47 PM
At the end of this I could just picture you having the "most awesome, unique worship experience" you've ever had with both hands raised in surrender as a voice sang "washed me white as snow". So much love and respect for you, friend. %u2764%uFE0F
- September 10th, 2014 at 1:50 PM
Thanks friend! And yes- hands raised high in surrender- while He is washing me whiter than snow! Love you!
Linda - September 10th, 2014 at 1:38 PM
wow....brave and bold.

ps: Hi Marie!!

- September 10th, 2014 at 1:51 PM
Thanks Linda! I need to plan a trip to Pittsburgh to see both of you. Miss you ladies!!! Love you tons!
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