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Whispering BELIEVE in 2015
by Jennifer Kelly on January 2nd, 2015

What if I were to admit to you that I don't BELIEVE in God as much as I should?
Or as much as I confess I do anyway...

What if I told you, that deep-deep down, every once in a while, I am afraid? Afraid of God's faithfulness. Fearful of His presence. Doubting of His love and forgiveness.

I wonder what your response would be?

If I got really serious. Honest with myself. Silent and looked down for a moment to collect my thoughts and asked you, "What if I could really believe?"

Like an all-the-time, steadfast, persistent, obedient, kind of belief. Not the kind of belief where words are carelessly sprayed out like cheap perfume: A momentary afterthought, loosing it's fragrance once you head out the front door. Forgotten quickly and never thought of throughout the day. Until the next morning anyway - where it's sprayed on again but has little effect.


I want the very-rare, expensive kind of faith that costs everything. The fragrant kind of faith that you can still taste and smell and see after a long-hard-day.
Actually - after a long-hard-life.

A look back at 2014 got me thinking about 2015.

Perhaps, I experienced God as much as I really BELIEVED in Him in 2014. Meaning: not what I spoke or wrote of Him, but the times in which I exercised my BELIEF. When I really followed Him, listened to Him, trusted Him and obeyed Him?

That's a tough thing to get honest about.

So, after much thought and prayer, my word for 2015 is BELIEVE.

Not spoken - as in a verbal acknowledgement - but as an action. Resulting in a kind of  reflection of how I live my life.

Visible belief.
Understanding that the smallest actions and decisions all have eternal ramifications.

There are a couple of truths that I am grasping onto (for dear life) and burying deep into my memory as I enter 2015:

#1.) I am a BELOVED daughter of God.
This is my truth - or should be my truth. My identity (in God) is so very central. It affects everything. I'm learning that It needs to anchor down in the core of my mind, body, heart and soul. Because when it does, my actions and decisions and words are not shaped or sprung from rules and regulations or fear, but from the love of a daughter to her Father.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Cor. 13:7)

When I keep this truth in the forefront of my mind, it changes me. His love moves me. Pursues me. Believes in me. And endures - despite of me.

His love is unchanging and in Him I find my way.
As simple and as hard as that is to believe.

#2.) Take courage - Jesus has won.
Oh, how I forget this. In my daily life of up's and down's, in's and out's, do's and dont's, I admit that I don't focus on the fact that Jesus is victorious. Probably because it doesn't feel like it most days. But John 16:33 reminds me of Jesus' words so long ago,

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (NKJV). 
As I'm entering 2015, I admit: I'm feeling a bit dismantled (despite my attempts to keep this from happening). I'm a bit jittery from an overload of coffee and sugar, fragmented from the lack of schedule, and frantic from sheer overload that is the holidays.

My initial response is to be louder, faster and more hectic. Maybe, if I scream and shout at God from the rooftop, from the chaos, I could hold more of His attention and affection.

But this is simply not so. 

When I finally stop. Get on my hands and knees. When I am still and quiet. When I am waiting expectantly and assuredly - TRULY BELIEVING that His love for me is beyond all comprehension - then I hear Him. I can feel His presence.

But then what?
What will I do?
How will I carry out my day?

I find a whisper to BELIEVE and trust. To believe that God is near. To believe that God can accomplish anything. That He is much bigger and better and grander than I have made Him out to be. And if this it true - If I believe deep down that God is in control, that I am His beloved daughter, and that Jesus has already won - I should see that reflected in the way I live my life.

"Henri Nouwen wrote, "Still, I am thoroughly convinced that the origin and goal of our existence have everything to do with the ways we think, talk, and act in our daily lives. When our deepest truth is that we are the Beloved and when our greatest joy and peace come from fully claiming that truth, it follows that this has to become visilble and tangible in the ways we eat and drink, talk and love, play and work" Life of the Beloved

​May God fill your 2015 with truth and love and the kind of belief that is VISIBLE in the way you live.

Happy New Year friends! xoxo 

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